Practice Attached Detachment

Attachment is the main source of problems in our personal lives
Problems would never arise if we practise detachment

The word detachment however is one of the most misunderstood words in our culture
Detachment is the principle which is easily rejected by people who are living in this materialistic society

Detachment is scoffed off by most of us because it challenges our deep rooted beliefs
Therefore before practising detachment, we should know what detachment means

Let us know that detachment does not mean disregard and absence of care

Let us also know that detachment is not about denying the joy of living in this world
Paradoxically let us also know how detachment can bring more joy and abundance to us

The definition

This world is full of duality
Males and femals, good and bad, form and non-form
Presence of attachment and detachment among us is simply this presence of duality

Attachment is wanting to be in command of the conduct of others
Detachment is being in command of your conduct
Attachments takes you to battles whereas detachment gives you a sense of peace
Attachment is competition, detahment is cooperation
Owning and controlling people is attachment, but loving people for what they are is detachment
Detachment means knowing the truth that love is for giving, not taking

This loosening up process is what I would call as Attached Detachment

Attached Detachment means freeing yourself from mere attachments, that is all, nothing more.



Attachment to Body

Many people believe they are only their body
With such a belief, you start worrying about hair loss, greying hair, wrinkles, pimples and any physical change
Many people are similarly worried about ageing
You are then in an endless preoccupation with appearance
This makes it difficult for you to develop your inner world

All these become the avoidable baggage to your systems
You create additional baggages for these systems to take with them and thus create additional loads
Your attachments turned luggages act as impediments to the energy flow into your systems

The more you are able to flow without these attachments the more healthier you would feel. Living without these harmful attachments is what detachment is all about.


I used to live in perpetual fear of losing things I had.
But now I know:

What if I lose my hair?
If I lose my hair, I will be the best darn bald guy I can be, and I will be grateful that my head can still stimulate ideas, if not follicles.


What if I become overweight, out of shape, or unattractive?
If I spend more time developing my emotional, mental, and spiritual dimensions, rather than over-focusing on my physical self, I will be more beautiful with each passing day.

What if I am disabled ?
If I am physically unable to teach my child to throw a curve ball, I will have more time to teach him morals.

What if I get old and frail and have nothing to offer those around me?
If aging robs me of my strength, mental alertness, and physical stamina, I will offer those around me the strength of my convictions, the wisdom of experience seasoned with adversity, and the spiritual stamina of a soul that has been carefully shaped by the hard edges of a long life.

And so, when I can no longer dance, I will sing joyfully; when I haven't the strength to sing, I will whistle with contentment; when my breath is shallow and weak, I will listen intently and shout love with my heart; and when the bright light approaches, I will pray silently until I cannot pray; alas, it will then be time for me to go to the Lord.

And what then should I fear?


Attachment to People

Attcchment to people is needing own and control people, feeling hurt If they do not follow your way
Feeling threatened when they fail to live upto your expectations
Attachment makes you make angry demands to change people
Free flowing energy can alone create love and serenity

Do not make it conditional to follow your qualities for giving them the love
Do not feel the need to be pleased by the other all the time
Don’t have nervous break down or ruin your present moments because they fail to make your grade

No one is owned by us Even your children are not your children; they are the true sons and daughters of the supreme creator
These children only come through you and not from you and hence they do not belong to you
You think they are your own and start demandingcompliance
Because you are attached to them, you interfere with their thinking very often
Simply because you are big, you always demand complaiance
Realise that they are too small and you have nothing to compete with them

The less you desire to control any one, the more closer you become to them
Therefore instead of controlling, let us network, cooperate, influence, guide, then they would follow you
Let us simply let your energy flow through your children instead of imposing our will on them
By this principle you can let people, including your antagonists value you and follow you
This energy, like electricity, transforms people
Help them change but not order them; always remember you donot own them, they own themselves
Listen and love; when they seek, offer advice, guidance and help - help to be self reliant

Always be in front of your children leading them
Stand beside them advising and helping when asked
Stand behind them supporting them
But never run behind them
You have given advice and help, but do not be upset if they don’t take them
Let them find the truth for themselves

Let us love people without the need to control or interfere with their life
Let us allow people develop characteristics which we may not have developed for ourselves
Let us learn to live with people who view life diffierently than we do
Let your spouse make mistakes without a lecture from you
Let not the conduct of others dictate your behaviour
Let them bring new flavour into our lives; let them think their own way

You are allowing the materials to own you
They block the beauty to see and enjoy human relationships
Though forming the same atom, proton and neutron behave oppositely but still they work together

Be unattached and be at peace within
If you remain unattached and demand more of congruent attitudes, they would only go farther away
Detachment does not mean uncaring.
Detachment means giving love even if they go contrary to what you want them to be
By your non-attachment you are in fact helping and guiding them to make choices
It is caring so much that you love them for what they are, i.e. an infinite supply of caring
Detachment helps to eliminate suffering to both parties and nurtures peace at home
Our suffering is caused by our mind which would not allow others to be just as they are
All human relationships can be happier from a position of detachment, being beside them
Be an ocean, be always undisturbed even when rivers fill you with more and more of water
You can change people more effectively if you are unatrtached than when you are judgemental/angry
You can teach them to be responsible more by your actions than through words
You can teach them values by being a father who observes values


Attachment to Materials

Having things in life is wonderful, but needing them is attachment
Many of us have attachment to things and suffer when they are not there
Many feel valueless without them
Most of us ceaselessly compare ourseves with what others are having, their vallents and materials
We feel incomplete without what others have
Thus we give materials the power to control us

If we cannot enjoy our life with what we have, we would not enjoy it even with more acquisitions
Even with more, we would not feel complete since we would still be left with someone to compare
Thus we would be in an endless trap and on a perpetual pursuit of more

As we accumulate more and more, our sight gets fixed with materials
Thus we lose sight of people and relationships
Thus as we acquire more our distance from people also grows
The more materialistic we become, we become lonelier and lonelier
Loneliness and violence seem to be the natural off spring of this materialistic world

We have been acquiring and giving things away from childhood
Starting with toys, we have been giving things away in stages
What was once important to us are no more important to us today
Everything that was owned by us a few years ago is now serving someone else
It is a universal principle that we would release everything when we get higher awakening
When we awaken we see the folly of having been attached to the ones we now want to give away
When we truly awaken, we will see the insignificance of any attachment
Thus one day allof us would realise that our acquisitions are of no use any more to us
Thus we only get what we have, for a short period of time

In the light of what what is stated above, how can we possibly own anything?
Let us realise nothing remains under the ownership of any one for long
All things circulate
Even people who are born die and take rebirth elsewhere to be in circulation
That happens to you, your spouse and your children too
Nothing gets owned in this world
We would have to give away people and things on the day fixed for them to go in circulation

Therefore let us think of everything in our possession as temporary and waiting to go in circulation
Then we can free ourselves from attachment and feel detached

So, let us stop chasing, accumulating and amassing, because we know ownership is impossible



Attachment to Money


We need money for running our lives, but the problem is most people grant it the power to control them
We are said to be attached to money when we are willing to sacrifice anything for the sake of money
Let us remind ourselves that we are richer compared to most other people in our country
Even when this is the reality, still we are not happy. If this is not attachment to money, what else it is?

People have simply shifted to values to wallet
We always believe that our value is determined by our bank account
When accumulation of money becomes our dominant theme in life, we suffer from disease

The more money minded we become, the less trusting we become
The more money we have, the less human values we possess

We have already seen that nothing stays and nothing is owned b any one
Everything is waiting to go in circulation
This is more true of money than of materials
If that be the case, why not share our wealth with our near and dear?
The love and care with which we give away, we would get them back in abundance



Attachment to Winning

When we are attached to winning, we suffer when we don’t
When you are attached to winning, failure lowers your self confidence which helps you lose further
If you think about the score, you become attached, then you can’t be in balance, you would lose
With that mind set you become tense and the tension reduces your performance level
Attachment to winning takes your mindset even to fight and enter into warfare wanting to crush others
Free you from this need, you will feel more happier

When you feel the need to defeat another, the other person controls your life
You do not have to defeat anyone in oroder to feel good about yurself
The best way to win is to not need to

Your best performance is ensured when you are relaxed and free inside
Be in harmony, be at peace, remain non-obsessed with winning, then you would win
Allow action to flow, energy to flow, visualise and concentrate but not worry about winning
Let there be harmony between body and mind, success will come on its own